Distractions

I have a lot of ideas running around in my head (i just pictured ideas running) that I want to share with everyone that reads this but every time that I get on here to start writing I open up my Facebook page first then I get distracted with the games, then I come across the sports teams that I follow and go to their individual sites and by the time I am ready to start writing my blog I am either too tired or bored with the computer at that point and forget to write anything and then I say "oh man, I wanted to write, I think people would like to know that stuff."  Having Aspergers is tough because you never do what you intend to do because of being easily distracted.  I have ideas of writing about marriage with Aspergers and how it is hard to express love, handling clingy kids when you don't want to be touched, and how to make the most out of your aspie kid playing sports due to being distracted and rather doing other things than playing the game.

Having Autism does not give you the right to mistreat other

Just because your child has autism does not give you or the child the right to be nasty to others, manners can be taught.  Today while we were out we went swimming and had a cook out with family and some friends.  It's no secret that a certain person hates us but we are not sure why she hates us, we have a few theories though.  Her son has autism and is very mean to David every time we see them, he is also very mean to Jack and another of his younger cousins, we keep Max away from he because we are not sure what he is capable of.  He has kicked Jack and David each in their faces before and repeatedly hits on them and when David lashes out and yells at him at the top of his lungs everyone blames David and never believes that the other child started it.  They tell us it's because he has autism, but that is not an excuse because David and myself both have Aspergers, and last I checked that is on the Autism spectrum but we don't go around hitting everyone we see.  Neither of us like to be touched and David understands that this other child has autism and knows how he acts, and knows that he only touches him to get a reaction out of him therefore he will try to stay as far away as possible from that child.  Until recently when grandma and grandpa witnessed the other child kick David and Jack in the face, apologize, then punch them again right after apologizing everyone thought that David was just being over dramatic on the situations, and another family member at another event had to yell at the other child to make him stop hitting the three younger kids the child said that David started it and the other person said that he witnessed the whole thing and David was just sitting down reading a book when the child came over and punched him.  You would think this whole time that the child's mother would notice that her child is the problem and not David except for the fact that she would rather not pay any attention to him and only intervenes when she hears David yelling at him to stop doing something.  Of course she doesn't see what led up to David's outburst she just thinks that David likes to yell at her child and not play with him because "David is a brat."  She insists on telling David that her child has autism.  David does not talk back to her, instead he comes to us and says "Doesn't she realize that I have Aspergers, I don't act like that."  Anyhow as I was talking earlier about the cookout David was swimming and so was the other child and David asked grandpa if he could take out the paddle boat so grandpa said sure, go ahead.  The other child asked too but his mother said "No, you're not going" and when that child said "Wait up David"  David told him "No, you can't come you're mom said no and I'm trying to get away from you."  The child's mother at that point decided to take her son and said come on.  While standing about a foot behind me her son asked "Was I being bad?" and she lied and told him "No, we are leaving because David is being a brat and I can't stand it."  I acted as though I didn't hear anything because I didn't feel like making a scene in front of everyone although I felt like telling her that I have Aspergers, I'm not deaf.  I also felt like telling her that David also has autism but we take him places with us and try to get him involved in team sports and socializing with other children and take him to the store and restaurants and parties with us rather than find a baby sitter because we don't want to deal with him and therefore he somewhat knows how to act in public, he might not say the right things and he can't control his volume too well but he has friends as a result of us taking him out and teaching him manners.  Autism does not give your child the right to be mean, many people that I know with severe autism and others with Aspergers are very polite because they are taught how to act.  They will not learn how to act in public if they are not taken in public.

Dealing with the police

Having Aspergers is tough sometimes, especially when you have a speeding problem like myself.  Over the years I've had my share of citations because I hate to get passed up on the highways because it makes me feel like a bad driver because I am driving too slow, even though I am usually over the limit.  I am not very good at talking my way out of citations when I get stopped like some people are because when the officer stops me and asks if I know why he stopped me I am truthful to them, and a lot of the times they don't like that.  I am always compliant though.  Some things that I have learned not to reply to the "Do you know why I stopped you?" question with include: "Because you're a dick"  that reply got me out of one citation because the officer thought it was funny, but the other two officers didn't. "I thought that sign that said speed limit 55 was a suggestion and I didn't agree with it."  That one didn't work either.  "I'm driving an '04 Rio, I don't really think I was going above 70MPH."  That officer volunteered to show me his RADAR reading so I asked "Are you sure that was me?"  Turns out that question works if there's more than one car on the road at that time.  The other problem that I have when I get stopped is at night and they shine their spotlight on you and the red and blue lights are flashing and that much light overstimulates me so I turn my mirrors down and close my eyes because it really bothers me and for some reason that makes me look suspicious.  When I try to explain to the officers that I have Aspergers and that the lights really bother me they don't understand me.  Apparently when I say "I have Aspergers" they must think it's a street name or something for drugs because all three times when I was stopped at night and explained it they decided to search my vehicle for drugs, no matter how much I told them they wouldn't find anything.  Of course they did not find anything and just wasted a lot of my time.  Each one came back and said "We didn't find anything so I'm just going to let you go with a warning but I have to cite you for speed.  If you're citing me for speed then where does "letting me off with a warning" come into play.  Some people can be really stupid, how can you give me a warning on something that doesn't exist, I believe the warning should be to slow down.  Needless to say a routine stop that should have taken 10 minutes at the most to cite me turned into an hour of time lost because I hate bright lights and didn't handle the situations well which led them to searching my vehicle.  In other words it is hard to explain Aspergers to someone who doesn't care and won't listen or learn what it is.

Pictures in my head

A couple of days ago David told me that when he was younger and we told him that he was going to meet someone that he used to see pictures of meat in his head, like the kind that we have for Sunday dinner.

Another one of David's comics.  Don't touch lava

When David was younger we used to clash a lot.  When he was diagnosed with Asperger's and I learned more of the matter I realized why, he didn't like to do what I liked because he was either not interested or he didn't understand.  When he started school and over the past few years I noticed that he has taken a strong liking to science and I was able to use that to get him interested.  He now knows the physics involved with baseball and we both love looking at the stars, mom looks at the stars too but me and David like to quiz each other on what we see when mom chirps in "What is that over there David."  David naturally says "That's Sirius, geeze I can't believe you don't know that yet, it is straight across from Orion's belt."  He also has smart remarks for all the other questions.  When I ask him though he's like "Dad, I know you know what that is, you taught me."  David has taken a strong liking into it and we connect greatly through looking to the skies.  He doesn't realize though that his friends could care less about the stars at this point but he still insists on explaining everything to his friends.  He enjoys sharing his knowledge with all of his friends because they are so impressed by it (or don't care) and they tell him how smart he is and I think he enjoys being the smart geeky kid which I can relate to because I liked sharing my knowledge too and being that same kid.  David and myself get along a lot better now since he found out that I also have Asperger's and that I know what he's going through, and we both like to share each others interests now which makes it easier for both of us to enjoy what we do together. 

David likes to make comics during his free time in school. Some are quite funny. In this one David "hi mr. Sun. Hello world. Hooray" Sun: "hello David. Hello world. Hay david did you know you. Had to right a twenty word S.A. today". Some of his spelling needs work but imaginative nonetheless.

Sent from my LG phone

A few days ago David did not want to do his homework, which really isn't any different from any other day because he hates homework but what makes this day stand out was that he had a valid excuse.  He said "Mom, I can't do my homework because my leg hurts."  Well, neither of us knew that he needed his legs to write with his hands.  Later, still without the work getting done he asked to go swimming and I reminded him that his leg hurt and he told me "It doesn't hurt when I swim, only when I do my homework."  Such a smart butt.

David's team had a game today and ended up winning 17-0 after 3 1/2 innings due to a mercy rule.  David struck out once and walked once, the walk was with the bases loaded so statistically he is credited with an RBI he then later came around to score when his teammate hit a double.  After the game the coach gave everyone two dollars to spend at the concession stand and David decided to use his on a bag of chips and a pop.  A few of teammates were sitting at the picnic table with him and his little brothers Jack (3) and Max (0) were around.  David was telling his friends "if I would pinch Jack that he would start screaming then Max would scream because Jack is screaming then they would break all the windows in the house with their squeals, well not really but metaphorically."  Naturally his friends didn't know what he meant by that comment because they are not up to date on words like that yet so I explained what he meant.  He is always saying things that are not quite age appropriate and doesn't understand why his friends don't understand him only adults do.  I love the quips that he says, they make me laugh.

Until I started writing this blog only a hand full of people knew of my Asperger's, and my parents don't believe the diagnosis because they nothing is wrong with me or my son.  That's the thing, we function the same but we are socially removed and only like doing what we want to do.  Instead of arguing I just say, OK, you know better than the doctor.  My wife suggested that I start blogging to get out some of my feelings because I like to write, she told me to make it anonymous if I want and no one will know that it's me, but since I have a picture posted of myself I can now be identified and now I am ready to let people know of David and my condition and maybe that will help people better understand us.  It's not that we don't want to talk to you or mingle, we still like to hang out with our friends, it's just hard for us because when there is so much going on it overstimulates us, I can't speak for David but for me it makes me a little nervous when I'm in a big crowd because of the noise and the anxiety of what is going to happen next.  Anyhow, I am just putting it out there now so all of my friends and family, and anyone else that is reading this now knows about our condition.

I think I might start posting some poetry on here, stuff written mainly by me and some by David, if you like that idea please comment.

This weekend we had some fun with a little aspie humor.  We did a lot of geocaching (www.geocaching.com for more information).  David (9- aspie) kept telling Jack (3) that not all of them have treasures and told me and mom that he can't believe how stupid Jack is, naturally i agree with David and say "I know" whereas mom has to tell both of us to be nice that he is only three.  While out cacheing we got a little hungry and went to Burger King, David, along with his asperger's, is extremely allergic to milk and eggs that's why we go to BK instead of McDonald's because he's allowed to have the bun.  I order David a stacker with no cheese and only ketchup and when we got it it had cheese on it so David is like, "i don't get it, don't they know this can kill me."  I told him that not everyone knows about allergies because they are dumb, he says yeah, but weren't we just here a couple days ago, and that same guy took our order.  I told him that it will be okay and that i will go in and have them correct it, before i went in my wife told me to be nice.  Needless to say I went in alone to make the quick fix and apparently I wasn't nice after my wife asked "How did you go about telling them about his allergies" when I told her my answer she told me that I went about it the wrong way.  After cacheing and everything we went to grandma and grandpa's house to go swimming in the pond, and Jack had to put on his swimming suit, again David says "Jack is so dumb, he doesn't even know how to swim" and I told David "You didn't know how to swim until you were nine" so he quickly corrected me and said "I am nine now, and started swimming last year when I was eight."  So in other words David thinks that everyone should be able to do what he does and doesn't understand the age difference unless they are newborns and infants.

Today was a very busy day celebrating my birthday with the family. I got to choose what we did today but now I'm worn out and don't have enough energy to tell you about the day so I will leave you hanging until tomorrow

Sent from my LG phone

We have a hard time looking at the camera, sometimes it makes mom the photographer mad.