Hello everyone, I know it's been a week since my last post however I got a bad review after my family read it and they were not happy and called and came over to show their disgust. I'm not sure what led to that, everything was truthful in it, I will blame their reading comprehension on that. Apparently they thought that I was calling my parents bad parents for not seeing things growing up and that is not the case, after reviewing my last post I do not recall ever coming across me stating bad parenting all I was stating is that I want them to accept my condition knowing the diagnosis now. I could go on and question their parenting but I won't do that, I just want some truthful answers of my childhood and the way that I acted as a kid to have closure on my diagnosis. My mother told me that once she sees a document stating the diagnosis then maybe she'll believe it so I contacted my counselor and she is going to get paperwork for me to give to them however I don't know if this will work or not. The intention of my blog is not to hurt anyone's feelings it is just a way of expressing my feelings in the best way that I know how, through writing. I do ask that if you have any snide remarks or comments though that you understand entirely what you are reading instead of reading a few lines in one post and basing an opinion. When my sister came over here and she asked "Why do you always have to badmouth them when they don't help you out?" Well if she would have seen the time stamp on the posts she would have realized that I wrote that post before I asked for any assistance, besides before I asked for the help I already knew the answer was going to be no and that's why I try not to ask them because I know that the answer is always going to be no but I figured it was worth a shot to ask. They did help me out one time before and nagged me every day until they were paid back. Mom likes to always tell me "It's not my fault that you can't keep a job." and the truth is that it isn't, nor is it mine but it is the fault that employers need to be educated of the social aspects and strengths that aspergers has in the workforce and until that day comes I will continue to struggle maintaining employment although counseling has helped greatly there are just some issues that can't be ironed out. Instead of throwing that in my face all the time though she could be a little more supportive and understanding of the situation even though they think I'm making up my diagnosis and the diagnosis of David which is not the case, doctors don't just throw a label on something unless they are certain. The other thing that they don't support or agree with is David's food allergies, trust me we would not be making that up if he were able to have milk and eggs because we would much rather him be able to have those items but he is allergic to them, they can kill him but my parents think we're over-exaggerating. They don't realize how hard it is to make sure David can have something at a restaurant and then we have to get the expensive (soy) cheese, milk and ice cream for him and make special cakes and other pastries for him. The fact that he has food allergies is a financial struggle to start with but throw on the fact of aspergers and that is makes the situation twice as hard, and then the fact that I have aspergers too and have a hard time sustaining income (other than unemployment) to combat these extra fees just makes it more of a struggle however my parents think that we are blowing this all out of proportion in order to gain sympathy, this is not the case for if we wanted sympathy there are a lot of cheaper ways to get it. The mere thing that I am asking for is acceptance and support from them for if I can get them to accept the conditions then the easier it is on us rather than them nitpicking and questioning our parenting skills and picking on our kids. The other thing that my sister brought up when she came over was "I don't know what you told aunt Gail because when she stopped over at mom's she seemed a little different, I mean I don't care what you said because I don't think she's the best judge of character so don't think that I care what she thinks. Did you tell them that mom and dad were bad parents, if that's the case I don't care, do you really think I care what she thinks?" Well to answer that I didn't really say much to aunt Gail other than catching up since what happened since February, which was the last time I seen her, and just getting together and letting two of her grand kids play with our boys while we were just talking about the past few months. I did ask her a few questions about my childhood in which she stated that she didn't see much that raised a red flag or had anybody asking 'what's wrong with that kid' and she told me a few things from my past and how sweet and caring I was. She told me that all the cousins had their uniqueness about them (I was ,and still am, the pyro) and she also told me of the time when I was four when I picked all of her neighbors flowers to give to my mom and although the gesture warm at heart she said her nerves were a mess because she knew eventually she would have to tell the neighbor what happened to all the tulips she waited for all winter. I may have stated how I felt when we visit my parents but what I told her was the truth of how they make us feel when we are there, other than that I didn't state any of their parenting skills growing up rather than I wanted to know how she saw me as a child as I did spend a lot of time with her in my younger years and my parents don't offer up that information to me when I ask them. So the answer to the question of "What did you tell aunt Gail?" is "Nothing" and the answer to "Do you think I care what aunt Gail thinks?" is "Well, yes, I actually do think you care of her opinion because if you didn't you would even bring that up." Needless to say I told them to understand better where my last post was coming from they needed to read the rest of my blog, my mom asked if there was more in there that would make her mad and I told her that there probably was but it is my feelings at the time of posting. Also when my sister was here she told me that mom was going to help me out until I wrote the post in which I responded "bullshit she had no intention of that, if so she would have said okay to begin with instead of 'I don't think so, you should see what other arrangements you can make,'" and then she asked if this was a jealousy issue because I brought up how mom and dad always help her out such as signing for a car, not co-signing but actually signing and taking out the loan in their name for her car, and also how they bought a swimming pool because she kept begging. She told me that mom and dad felt she was more responsible and that's why they signed for the care and as far as the pool goes that's for all the grand kids. Now I wouldn't go as far as saying the pool is for all of the grand kids as much as it is for my sister's kids, in who my parents always favored, mainly because of the fact that we are not invited over. My sister went on to tell me that I could just show up, I don't have to wait for an invitation in which then I retorted that I do have to have an invite to come over because without one I feel like a bigger inconvenience and more unwanted than they already make me feel. In closing I would like to state that I am not calling my parents bad parents as I will also not state that they are good parents I'm just stating that I want them to accept me for me and my kids for who they are and show a little support, if you treat me like crap while I'm there and act like you don't want my company then I am fine with that, I won't come over. Also when you talk about me please don't refer to me as your "mule" as so far this has been the most degrading comment that I have ever received from anyone as the negativity that I took away from that comment, whether intentional or not, that should not be the way you refer to you son or any of your children. I would also like to state that I am not upset with the sister that showed up to complain at me as right now I feel that she is the only chance that I have of my parents accepting David's and my conditions due to the fact that if she ever finally agrees and then educates my parents then they may actually listen and not make me feel so unwanted and maybe I won't have to worry about trying to please them to gain acceptance.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Parents don't agree although everyone else is on board
A couple days ago my wonderful Aunt made a drive out to our new house to catch up with me and talk. She has been reading my blog and I have been asking her questions about my childhood and other instances and asked for some advice and to get her thoughts on how we are handling David's situation but in order to answer fully she wanted to get some more information. She told me about when I was younger how sweet and caring I was and that she can't recall anyone saying "What's wrong with that kid?" She did tell me about a time when I was in third grade when my mom called her because of something that I did on the bus and got in trouble but that's about the only trouble she knew of because she wasn't in the home with us and didn't know everything that was going on. After speaking with her she sees some things from my past however I have been trying to explain David's and my diagnoses for the past couple of years to my family (parents and sisters) and they keep saying "I don't see anything wrong." Every time I try to explain things to them they always try to belittle me and usually after a while of arguing I just get fed up realizing they will never understand and give up and leave. They like to tell me about how I was when I was younger, I was cooking and cleaning and doing my own laundry when I was nine, mowing the grass when I was seven and fixing things and setting up electronics (VCR, computer and other small motor projects) by the time I was seven or eight. I asked if they ever thought these were unnatural behaviors and they just say "No, we just thought you were advanced." My mother was usually napping and my father was either working or drinking so needless to say my mother didn't really spend a lot of time monitoring my movements and when my dad was not working or didn't cap open his first beer of the day yet all I wanted to do was go out and play ball or toil in the garden and try to spend time with him. The reason that I used to cook for myself was because I didn't want anyone else to touch my food because there was a certain way that I wanted it prepared, even though I ate what the rest of the family was having I had to make my own to make sure that it was prepared right. I often cooked for the rest of the family too because I had fun doing so and I was proud when my work was done, as far as the laundry I had my own procedure that made putting the clothes away easier for me, I liked to mow the grass again for the reason that I was proud when the job was complete and I liked to make designs in the yard, each time was a different design and always with the push mower. I'm not sure if I did it for the pleasure of completing the job or because my body enjoyed the vibration and jarring from the mower but either way I don't think any nine or ten year old child would normally volunteer to push a mower over five acres for fun when a riding one was available although I did enjoy the riding mower too for the same effects of the vibration. With the electronics I just think that it's every boys curiosity to find out how things work so that's really no big deal there. I raise other issues such as how I used to eat my clothes when I was younger, acting out in school, getting easily frustrated, Never having friends in my own age group (they were all either significantly older such as teachers, aunts and grandparent age or significantly younger such as my really young cousins, nieces and people quite younger. Granted I did have a few friends in my age group but they are people that chose to reach out to me because I wouldn't reach out to them. They like to tell me how I played football (I enjoyed the impact more than the game) and how I'm a Navy veteran (Administrative Discharge under honorable conditions) and I can get jobs. Well it is true that I can get jobs, my problem is maintaining those jobs because of the social aspects of Aspergers. They also tell me that they don't see anything wrong with David, sure his speech is hard to understand but he is reading at a seventh grade level. I try to explain that aspergers doesn't ,mean stupid but it is merely a fact of social inability and struggles adapting with peers and there are many other aspects of the disorder. They like to think that my wife and me fabricate the diagnosis (as we "did" with his food allergies) because we wanted an easy answer. Well to be quite contradictory this is not an easy answer as it took nearly three years to get a formal diagnosis with much testing. The problem that I am having is that other people around me that know me and have grown up with me such as aunts (both mine and my wife's), former teachers of mine and current teachers of David and former classmates and my two best friends can totally see that there is something going on with both David and me but I can not get my parents to see this. Of all the avenues that I try I just can not get them to listen or understand, I try to give them literature to read to understand the condition, I try to ask questions of my childhood and explain why I don't think those are normal and try to reflect how David at his age is extremely similar to how I was at that age. How can I get my parents to listen? I have tried to avoid them at times because they make us feel unaccepted when we are there and they don't ever come over here however as soon as they call for questions or help I am always right on top of it because I am trying so hard to seek their approval. Family is priority to me and I want to keep them close but they make me feel so distant so I want to stay away but I can't and I just wish they could understand the struggles that both David and me put up with on a daily basis, and most of all the struggles that my wife has to go through every day having to put up with both of us. If anyone has any suggestions on this matter please feel free to let me know as I feel I have run out of options.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Addition to my intro
As I was writing my intro I forgot to mention the tremendous support and love that my wife expresses toward me everyday and how it is hard to cope with your partner, especially if the diagnosis is recent. I decided to add a part about how grateful I am for my wife and all of her support and to let everyone know that once you find out of your spouses diagnosis the best thing you can do is support them and work with them. This is the selection I added;
As
far as relationships go I never really knew how to talk to women, granted I had
a lot of female friends in school I was unable to express how I felt toward
them. My best friend actually introduced
me to a girl, who is now my wife, and I talked to her for a while and we
started dating however it was more so my writings rather than my words that
attracted her as I felt more comfortable writing. Over the years since our marriage we have had
some problems as most couples do mostly surrounding how she feels that I don’t
love her like I used to, however that is not the case. Although we have been married for nearly 10
years now it is still much easier for me to express my love to her through
writing letters and poetry and since the diagnosis she understands this
better. I commend my wife for all of her
support and for sticking with me for so long even though sometimes I make her
feel inferior because I have to correct anything wrong she says and although we
do argue a lot she still supports me and gives me ways and tips on how I could
have said it better to not come off so strong as this has been a big issue with
the jobs that I’ve had and my interactions with my co-workers. Having Aspergers is really hard in
relationships however the more supportive and understanding you are of your
partner it is easier to understand and deal with them and if that does not work
you should never be ashamed of counseling as it is a great help too.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Intro to the book I am working on
As some of you who are following may know, I have begun working on a book. I'm not too far along yet because of my many distractions and how precise I have to be with my grammar, however I would just like to share the introduction of what I am working on, also If you have any ideas on a catchy title please feel free to share them.
Introduction
Hello everyone, my name is Jeremy
Gut and I am a 28 year old man with Aspergers syndrome. I am married to a wonderful woman and have
three beautiful boys; the oldest of the three also has Aspergers. In my school years I was a rather well known individual;
however I lacked friends and was limited mainly due to the way that I treated
other students. I was not a physical
bully but sometimes with my words I did offend or say the wrong things to many
people. I played and lettered in
football and also lettered by throwing shot-put in track. I graduated high school with a 3.7 grade
point average on a scale of 4.0 with my strongest subjects in math, history and
English. Midway through my senior year I
decided to enlist in the military to commence as soon as I graduated and
shipped out one month after graduation.
I am a veteran of the United States Navy, with
many commendations, in which I served honorably and was medically discharged
after three years. Since my discharge
from the Navy I have attained several positions in the workforce, primarily in
the production and manufacturing fields, however most ended on account of my
poor social skills and inability to handle stress and the nonsense of the other
employees. I performed these jobs with
precision and always in a timely manner and usually submitted ideas to improve
proficiency and have a perfect attendance record. Although all of my employers loved my work
ethic it is due to the fact that I am unable to communicate properly and that
does not tend to make me many friends. I
did not realize these acts were unacceptable until recently and have since been
working on the issues.
As
I look back on my life through my childhood, adolescence and adult I realize
now that a lot of the behaviors I possessed were traits of Aspergers. I was never tested as a child because my
parents felt that nothing was wrong, however I see many red flags that should
have been raised and a diagnosis sooner in life would have made it a lot easier
on me today. I was not diagnosed until a
month before my 27th birthday, and the main reason that I had to
seek treatment was because of an argument at work involving another co-worker
and myself and as a means to return to work I had to get documentation of my
condition and seek counseling. My wife,
since our oldest son David’s diagnosis, felt that I carried all of the same
traits of my son and thought that maybe I suffered the condition also and urged
me to seek counseling for a while however I ignored that for nearly two years,
had I listened to her and sought treatment and help sooner that that argument
would have never existed.
With
this writing I intend to point out issues throughout my life from as far back
as I can remember and try to explain why I think now, understanding that I have
Aspergers syndrome, why they were bad behaviors. I will also illustrate how my parents could
have seen the indicators and prepared me better as my wife and me are trying to
do with our son, and also to point out that Aspergers is a good trait to have
but really frustrating to deal with. I
am going to illustrate my struggles through school, sports, the military and my
work life and ways that I could have handled them better knowing now what I
should have known then. I hope some of
this information may be useful to others and I hope that you will enjoy what
you read.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
How do you handle a meltdown?
How do you handle a meltdown with your aspie or autistic child? I know for my wife and me it is still very hard, however over time we have been able to limit them. Meltdowns are quite common and usually occur because of a change in schedule or procedure or noisy crowds. The hardest thing about meltdowns in public is people often look at you as if "you need to control your child" but most people don't understand what that child is going through. A couple years back at a Target store when David was going through a meltdown there was a man, probably in his 40's, that seen the incident and mumbled under his breath to his children "what that kid needs is a good ass whoopin'" and naturally that comment didn't sit right with me so I turned around and asked the man "so you think I should show my child that violence is okay when things don't go right?" and left it at that. These days we usually stick to a schedule and before going out we inform David of everything that we are going to do so he is not surprised when it happens and so he can prepare for crowds. This so far has been the most effective way of curbing the meltdowns, however it does not completely stop them. Another subject that usually causes meltdowns is when people, usually little brother Jack, play or touch his items. He is fine with most items but it is the prized possessions that he doesn't anyone to touch or sometimes even see because of the fear that they may break or ruin it. Usually to prevent this we tell him to put all of his prized possessions (potbellies, Harry Potter books, Shel Silverstein books, signed baseballs and others) out of the reach of his little brother and to make sure that if he doesn't want anyone else to touch them to put them away when company comes over so they are not tempted. We usually have to keep an extra watch on Jack to make sure that he doesn't touch any of his brother's special items and make sure that we have other options for him to play with. Many other things attribute to the meltdowns such as television shows, so we allot him a certain amount of time for television to watch what he wants, people talking while he's talking and to curb this we have to explain to most people that he won't finish talking until you let him finish what he is saying, and many other instances lead to the meltdowns. With this said, meltdowns can not be prevented as they are a way of letting out pressure of over-stimulation or social anxiety, however it is possible to curb the behavior once you learn how your child operates and build a plan to work around them.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Autism does not mean handicapped
This post is to show that if you extend the leash a little bit and show trust in your aspie that responsibility and every day activities could be achieved. Last weekend was the annual Ox Roast in Mesopotamia, Ohio. This is 3 day event in which vendors set up and sell items while the fire department cooks and sells beef. Grandma has been setting up there for at least twenty years and David has been going since he was a little over one. Around May, David is extremely excited about this even because that's when he gets to help Grandma go through the containers and decide what is going and what is staying home and cleaning out the camper. This year David wanted to stay with grandma and grandpa on Wednesday to make sure that he would be able to go up with them on Thursday to set up. David helped set up before my wife and me got there and we helped finish putting everything on the tables. Usually David will stay up there with my wife and me to help grandma close up and get ready in the mornings, however this year David said that he would just stay and help grandma. On Friday, they both woke up at seven and uncovered and got ready for the day, then grandma had David walk down to the "End of the Commons" general store for some ice and she gave him a few dollars. David made it to the store, spent some time in the ice house because it was hot outside, then came back with the ice and exact change. Grandma also had a rack with necklaces and a basket of ear rings that she let David sell for one dollar a piece. He did a great job selling and was polite to the customers and even made some recommendations to try to attain more sales, and sometimes that worked. At the end of each day we all helped close up then we tried to have David come home with us, he then asked if we would be back by seven, when we told him no he said that he would just go home with grandma so he can come back with her and help her set up in the morning as he felt that it was his responsibility. Grandma also left David in charge of her stand a couple times, although it was only for a few minutes while she went to the stand two stands down or went inside to make sandwiches but she still made him feel big because he was in charge. With that said, as long as you show your aspie or autistic child that they can be responsible and let them out on their own they will believe that and i think that enforces great life skills.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Although we have Aspergers, We do have feelings.
Aspergers and Autism is very hard for most people to understand as we are all unique in our own way. Although we all carry the same traits there are not two of us exactly alike however the one thing that we all share are our feelings and emotions. Although we have a hard time expressing our feelings and most people think that we don't have any that is completely not the case as we do have feelings, and usually stronger than the average person, we just don't know how to show it and therefore usually choose not to show it. A lot of times it usually takes us a while to process the situation that has happened and later on, either a few hours later or even a few days after the fact you may see us express our feelings completely out of the blue. So just because we don't express ourselves please don't think that we do not have feelings because the littlest things in life mean so much to us, what you may think as something small usually means the world to us. David has so many items that he treasures dearly and although we may think they are nothing they mean so much to him, and also the same goes for me. With this said please think before you act toward us as we do like to be included although we might not fit in. Before you leave us out of any of your events please give us the opportunity to tell you whether or not we want to participate as there are many activities that David or me do not care to participate in however as far as me I feel that you should at least give me the opportunity to tell you that I do not want to be a part of you group and the same usually goes for David. Before you speak out of line toward us please think of what you are saying as the way we think is usually literal and sometimes we may take your comments the wrong way. So in ending I am just going to ask everyone to remember before you act toward us, please think of your actions and how you would feel if those exact actions happened to you, for our feelings toward those actions usually are twice as hard on us than it is on most people.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Today's story, silent protest went well. And a new poem at the end
Hello everyone, for those of you following what happened the past few days we had our silent protest tonight and it went well, other than a comment made in the second inning by the Newton Falls coach "at least we bring our whole team" in which I agreed with the comment however I did not say anything, I went and watched the game quietly as planned with the rest of the supporters and still cheered on our LaBrae club. Just to make everything clear, although this is the LaBrae Athletic Club (LAC) they are not associated with LaBrae schools, in which I still believe is a great school system having graduated there and liked all the teachers and coaches who always included me (we butted heads sometimes but they always made me feel better and never left me out), and Sandy's Tire Sales was the sponsor however that is all Sandy's Tire does is sponsors a team, they pay the money to sponsor a team and the sponsor gets assigned to a team they do nothing else with the system which means they do not choose the team or coaches. Also this is nothing against the LaBrae Athletic Club, however just a single coach (who happens to be the vice president) that decided he could take it upon himself to commit this act in order to try to win. So with that said I have nothing against the LAC for they had no control over that coach's actions nor LaBrae, nor Sandy's Tire because it is not their fault on what happened but solely the actions of one man, Shawn Phillips.
At this point I would love to thank all of the supporters who attended from LaBrae, Newton Falls and Southington, also my wonderful friends who helped with this campaign, John Vargo of the Tribune Chronicle for taking on this story and understanding the situation (and for taking the time to read my blog, as much as you described you must have read quite a bit and that means so much to have a reporter reading my writings), Tony Stephens who is an official of the LaBrae Athletic Club with his sincere apologies to my entire family (and even non family that was sitting with us) and for ensuring David was as most comfortable as possible during the game, Brandon Scott and Ross McCartney for coaching a great game in the replacement of Shawn Phillips, Tony Hufford for taking a little time and speaking with the Tribune, and finally to Judy of the Lucky Inn in Leavittsburg who took the time away from her business to go to the game in support. If I forgot to mention anyone I am greatly sorry but I tried to mention everyone that I could think of at this time.
Now I am going to detail the events of the day as far as the coach and presidents call along with the reporters, silent protest and after game at Dairy Queen. First the day started off around 12:30 PM when coach Shawn Phillips called me on the phone. He told me that he was sorry and he handled the situation wrong and that the game for tonight was set to be at Burbank Park at 6PM however he will not be there because he was suspended. I was surprised that he was suspended since he and the president are "besties" until I received a message later on from the Sponsor stating "...Jeremy,
On behalf of Sandy’s Tire Sales I would like to say how sorry we are for the way your son was treated. We only sponsor the teams, we do not get to pick the coaches. I myself just read your blog and the whole situation was handled inappropriately by the coach. These leagues are for players to learn, grow, and be treated equal. The competitive stages for ball come in later years when they have try outs and cuts. For any player to be treated like this in unfair, it is not high school ball or the minors for goodness sakes. As a parent I can imagine how it feels, this is a game where your child is supposed to learn and grow and not be singled out in order to win. Sure everyone wants to win, but what are we teaching our children if they don’t learn how to lose? As a parent my son would be at the tournament in uniform ready to play(if I’m not mistaken any player on team has to play) show the coach he will not bring your sons spirit down, and he has been a part of the team all year and will continue to do so now. WIN or LOSE……. With that said I wish the best of luck to you all." Thank you very much Brooke. Anyhow after I got off of the phone from the coach and thought a little bit I then sent the coach a text message and those went as follows:
Me - You could still go and watch your son play you just can't be in the dugout or coach. David would really like a face to face heartfelt personal apology from you.
Shawn- I will come after game is over.
Shawn- The 10 boys in the dug out will be upset, but the situation must be defused.
Me-There should be 12 boys in the dug out and you're right, the situation should be defused. There is no reason you can't watch your son play though. And thanks for trying to turn the situation on our son.
At around 1:30 I received a phone call from George Kaschac, the president of the LAC. He informed me that he was stunned that Shawn had not called and resolved the issue as stated the day before but said that I should have received a call from him today in which I stated that I did. He also informed me that the game was at 6 PM at Burbank Field and would love for David to be a part of it. I explained to him the situation and the discussions and decision that David made about how he wants to go to the game but he does not want to play in it because he wouldn't want to be the reason that they lose. He told me that there are more factors than just one player whether a team wins and loses and would love for him to play in the game, the coach has been suspended. I then asked David if he wanted to play and he told me no, he just wants to watch. At that time George said that as a board they were hoping that he would play and be a part of the team because he deserved it for being with them all season long. I then stated that I will try to convince him to but as a parent I understand that my son knows what he is talking about and can make an educated decision so I as a parent will do what is in the best interest of my son. He understood that I wanted to do what was in the best interest of my son however he really urged him to play, he also informed me that a member of the board will be present at the game to ensure nothing arose.
Around 4:00 PM I received a phone call from John Vargo, sports reporter for the Warren-Tribune Chronicle to field questions on the story that he received. I spent about 25 minutes on the phone with him and fielded all the questions he asked, he then asked if he could speak with David so I tried to get David to speak with him but David refused a couple times, the reporter said he understood and just asked if I could speak on his behalf. At the end of the conversation he informed me that he will be at Burbank Field at 5:45 for an interview. We arrived at the baseball field around 5:40 and I felt nervous at first because I felt that everyone was looking at us when we arrived so I procrastinated a little bit before heading over to our section because the other supporters weren't there yet. Once I got the courage to finally go over I was immediately greeted by Tony Stephens who is a member of the board and he was so friendly to David and offered his warmest apologies to David. We took David's uniform just in case he changed his mind about playing or in case the team wanted or needed him however he still refused to dress. Tony left it up to David however and did not push the issue, he did tell David that he wished he could play but he push it, he then asked if David would at least want to watch the game from dug out in which David also told him no, that's okay. At this moment I started to feel sad because I could see the heartbreak on Tony's face after he spoke with David. Shortly after that the Tribune reporter started the interview and the photographer took a picture of David along the fence with the field in the background and he was also able to get David to talk to him a little bit about his thoughts of the situation. David is not really a boy who shows emotion or his feelings until days after the fact when he starts thinking about it. Our interview lasted a while then he left because he was supposed to meet the president at Perkins Park. I then joined the rest of the supporters and answered some of their questions, then I met Judy and thanked her and made my way over to the Newton Falls side where there were more supporters from Newton Falls and Southington and talked with one of David's former coaches for Lordstown. We both left the district around the same time, him to Newton Falls and us to LaBrae but he said David will always be accepted and his son and David are still good friends. A little while later the reporter returned with a few more questions and to see the end of the game, he also interviewed David's former coach at Lordstown and a couple other parents. The game ended with a final score of Newton Falls Zip Lube 7 to LaBrae Vikings Sandy's Tire- 4. We were hoping for the Vikings to win because they deserved it and it was nothing that the kids did however second place over all still received a trophy, but due to the loss it goes to show that not one player can win or lose a game. You win as a team, you lose as a team and hopefully all those children in the dug out understand that and hopefully it's a wake up call to all coaches. At the end of the game Tony Stephens said that David will still get a trophy and that he would make sure of that, he told David "come on, no one will say anything if you walk with me, you deserve it too." and it was so sweet. I highly commend Tony Stephens for his sportsmanship and hospitality, his heartfelt apologies and overall being a great man. The thing that I commend most is that his apologies were real, and my wife said she thought we was going to start to cry when he was apologizing to her but he held back. His apologies were real, not some fake apology over the phone that the coach gave me because he was told to.
After the game David handed out photo CDs of the season that my wife took (with exception of the games we weren't invited to) to all the children on the team, with the exception of two that left before he got to them and didn't go to Dairy Queen afterward. I was a little nervous about this but it broke the ice to addressing the rest of the team and parents that we have no hard feelings toward them because it was none of their faults that the coach cheated and lied to everyone. Ross McCartney, who was the one that filled in for the suspended Shawn Phillips, greatly appreciated the gesture and strongly encouraged David to meet them at Dairy Queen. He too was very sympathetic, and the rest of the kids thanked David for the disc and welcomed him. They did not know the situation either. We did go to Dairy Queen with the team because David saw that they were still his friends and team mates. While we went to Dairy Queen coach Shawn Phillips was there, as his wife was the score keeper, however he did not show up at the field after the game like he said he would. We placed David's order (red, white and blue star due to his milk allergy that's about all he can have from there) and encouraged him to give the coaches son a CD in which David did so in front of the coach. It seemed like David stood there and followed the coach for a few seconds waiting for an apology in which one was not given. The coaches wife thanked my wife for the CD however no apology from her either, as I'm not sure if she knew the situation before hand. If she was not informed then I feel sorry for dragging her into this as it's not her fault, however if she knew about it and let it happen she is as equally guilty, however at this point I can't say either way. The coach did not stay long and seemed like he was in a hurry to get out of there almost as soon as he seen me coming that way and rushed his son along so they could leave. They left without David getting the apology that he was promised. At this point I am willing to let that go, we explained to David that some people just can't say they're sorry and don't realize how wrong they are. However after the coach left a few of the other kids stuck around for at least 20 minutes afterward and they were playing freeze tag and included David. The one kid was the freezer and kept freezing David and the other coaches son kept unfreezing him. Coach Scott's son was a great team mate to David all season long even though David was a little different and I commend him for that as all the players were supportive of David. With this said I am a little more at ease about how David will go into the school year at his new school because they still accepted him.
After Dairy Queen I contacted John Vargo again to let him know of the situation at Dairy Queen about how the coach failed to apologize but the other kids accepted him. He also informed me that he seen at the end of the game what Tony did to ensure David got his trophy and thought that was really special. He also said that he started reading my blog and he seen that David was allergic to milk and eggs (which surprised me how much he read because that is toward the beginning of the blog) and he told me that his son has the same allergies but that is a discussion for later.
Right now I would like to share a poem with everyone that I wrote on Sunday, it has no title as I am not good making up titles but if you think of a good one let me know:
I just wanted to be
A part of your team
So why did you have to
Treat me so mean?
I have been with you
All season long
Then get thrown away
When tournaments come along.
You may not think
That it's a big deal
But how do you think
That makes me feel?
What would you do
If this happened to you
You showed such little class
And acted like an ass.
So let me ask you this
If we traded places for a day
And you see what I go through
Would you feel that same way?
Jeremy David Gut
written 7-1-2012
At this point I would love to thank all of the supporters who attended from LaBrae, Newton Falls and Southington, also my wonderful friends who helped with this campaign, John Vargo of the Tribune Chronicle for taking on this story and understanding the situation (and for taking the time to read my blog, as much as you described you must have read quite a bit and that means so much to have a reporter reading my writings), Tony Stephens who is an official of the LaBrae Athletic Club with his sincere apologies to my entire family (and even non family that was sitting with us) and for ensuring David was as most comfortable as possible during the game, Brandon Scott and Ross McCartney for coaching a great game in the replacement of Shawn Phillips, Tony Hufford for taking a little time and speaking with the Tribune, and finally to Judy of the Lucky Inn in Leavittsburg who took the time away from her business to go to the game in support. If I forgot to mention anyone I am greatly sorry but I tried to mention everyone that I could think of at this time.
Now I am going to detail the events of the day as far as the coach and presidents call along with the reporters, silent protest and after game at Dairy Queen. First the day started off around 12:30 PM when coach Shawn Phillips called me on the phone. He told me that he was sorry and he handled the situation wrong and that the game for tonight was set to be at Burbank Park at 6PM however he will not be there because he was suspended. I was surprised that he was suspended since he and the president are "besties" until I received a message later on from the Sponsor stating "...Jeremy,
On behalf of Sandy’s Tire Sales I would like to say how sorry we are for the way your son was treated. We only sponsor the teams, we do not get to pick the coaches. I myself just read your blog and the whole situation was handled inappropriately by the coach. These leagues are for players to learn, grow, and be treated equal. The competitive stages for ball come in later years when they have try outs and cuts. For any player to be treated like this in unfair, it is not high school ball or the minors for goodness sakes. As a parent I can imagine how it feels, this is a game where your child is supposed to learn and grow and not be singled out in order to win. Sure everyone wants to win, but what are we teaching our children if they don’t learn how to lose? As a parent my son would be at the tournament in uniform ready to play(if I’m not mistaken any player on team has to play) show the coach he will not bring your sons spirit down, and he has been a part of the team all year and will continue to do so now. WIN or LOSE……. With that said I wish the best of luck to you all." Thank you very much Brooke. Anyhow after I got off of the phone from the coach and thought a little bit I then sent the coach a text message and those went as follows:
Me - You could still go and watch your son play you just can't be in the dugout or coach. David would really like a face to face heartfelt personal apology from you.
Shawn- I will come after game is over.
Shawn- The 10 boys in the dug out will be upset, but the situation must be defused.
Me-There should be 12 boys in the dug out and you're right, the situation should be defused. There is no reason you can't watch your son play though. And thanks for trying to turn the situation on our son.
At around 1:30 I received a phone call from George Kaschac, the president of the LAC. He informed me that he was stunned that Shawn had not called and resolved the issue as stated the day before but said that I should have received a call from him today in which I stated that I did. He also informed me that the game was at 6 PM at Burbank Field and would love for David to be a part of it. I explained to him the situation and the discussions and decision that David made about how he wants to go to the game but he does not want to play in it because he wouldn't want to be the reason that they lose. He told me that there are more factors than just one player whether a team wins and loses and would love for him to play in the game, the coach has been suspended. I then asked David if he wanted to play and he told me no, he just wants to watch. At that time George said that as a board they were hoping that he would play and be a part of the team because he deserved it for being with them all season long. I then stated that I will try to convince him to but as a parent I understand that my son knows what he is talking about and can make an educated decision so I as a parent will do what is in the best interest of my son. He understood that I wanted to do what was in the best interest of my son however he really urged him to play, he also informed me that a member of the board will be present at the game to ensure nothing arose.
Around 4:00 PM I received a phone call from John Vargo, sports reporter for the Warren-Tribune Chronicle to field questions on the story that he received. I spent about 25 minutes on the phone with him and fielded all the questions he asked, he then asked if he could speak with David so I tried to get David to speak with him but David refused a couple times, the reporter said he understood and just asked if I could speak on his behalf. At the end of the conversation he informed me that he will be at Burbank Field at 5:45 for an interview. We arrived at the baseball field around 5:40 and I felt nervous at first because I felt that everyone was looking at us when we arrived so I procrastinated a little bit before heading over to our section because the other supporters weren't there yet. Once I got the courage to finally go over I was immediately greeted by Tony Stephens who is a member of the board and he was so friendly to David and offered his warmest apologies to David. We took David's uniform just in case he changed his mind about playing or in case the team wanted or needed him however he still refused to dress. Tony left it up to David however and did not push the issue, he did tell David that he wished he could play but he push it, he then asked if David would at least want to watch the game from dug out in which David also told him no, that's okay. At this moment I started to feel sad because I could see the heartbreak on Tony's face after he spoke with David. Shortly after that the Tribune reporter started the interview and the photographer took a picture of David along the fence with the field in the background and he was also able to get David to talk to him a little bit about his thoughts of the situation. David is not really a boy who shows emotion or his feelings until days after the fact when he starts thinking about it. Our interview lasted a while then he left because he was supposed to meet the president at Perkins Park. I then joined the rest of the supporters and answered some of their questions, then I met Judy and thanked her and made my way over to the Newton Falls side where there were more supporters from Newton Falls and Southington and talked with one of David's former coaches for Lordstown. We both left the district around the same time, him to Newton Falls and us to LaBrae but he said David will always be accepted and his son and David are still good friends. A little while later the reporter returned with a few more questions and to see the end of the game, he also interviewed David's former coach at Lordstown and a couple other parents. The game ended with a final score of Newton Falls Zip Lube 7 to LaBrae Vikings Sandy's Tire- 4. We were hoping for the Vikings to win because they deserved it and it was nothing that the kids did however second place over all still received a trophy, but due to the loss it goes to show that not one player can win or lose a game. You win as a team, you lose as a team and hopefully all those children in the dug out understand that and hopefully it's a wake up call to all coaches. At the end of the game Tony Stephens said that David will still get a trophy and that he would make sure of that, he told David "come on, no one will say anything if you walk with me, you deserve it too." and it was so sweet. I highly commend Tony Stephens for his sportsmanship and hospitality, his heartfelt apologies and overall being a great man. The thing that I commend most is that his apologies were real, and my wife said she thought we was going to start to cry when he was apologizing to her but he held back. His apologies were real, not some fake apology over the phone that the coach gave me because he was told to.
After the game David handed out photo CDs of the season that my wife took (with exception of the games we weren't invited to) to all the children on the team, with the exception of two that left before he got to them and didn't go to Dairy Queen afterward. I was a little nervous about this but it broke the ice to addressing the rest of the team and parents that we have no hard feelings toward them because it was none of their faults that the coach cheated and lied to everyone. Ross McCartney, who was the one that filled in for the suspended Shawn Phillips, greatly appreciated the gesture and strongly encouraged David to meet them at Dairy Queen. He too was very sympathetic, and the rest of the kids thanked David for the disc and welcomed him. They did not know the situation either. We did go to Dairy Queen with the team because David saw that they were still his friends and team mates. While we went to Dairy Queen coach Shawn Phillips was there, as his wife was the score keeper, however he did not show up at the field after the game like he said he would. We placed David's order (red, white and blue star due to his milk allergy that's about all he can have from there) and encouraged him to give the coaches son a CD in which David did so in front of the coach. It seemed like David stood there and followed the coach for a few seconds waiting for an apology in which one was not given. The coaches wife thanked my wife for the CD however no apology from her either, as I'm not sure if she knew the situation before hand. If she was not informed then I feel sorry for dragging her into this as it's not her fault, however if she knew about it and let it happen she is as equally guilty, however at this point I can't say either way. The coach did not stay long and seemed like he was in a hurry to get out of there almost as soon as he seen me coming that way and rushed his son along so they could leave. They left without David getting the apology that he was promised. At this point I am willing to let that go, we explained to David that some people just can't say they're sorry and don't realize how wrong they are. However after the coach left a few of the other kids stuck around for at least 20 minutes afterward and they were playing freeze tag and included David. The one kid was the freezer and kept freezing David and the other coaches son kept unfreezing him. Coach Scott's son was a great team mate to David all season long even though David was a little different and I commend him for that as all the players were supportive of David. With this said I am a little more at ease about how David will go into the school year at his new school because they still accepted him.
After Dairy Queen I contacted John Vargo again to let him know of the situation at Dairy Queen about how the coach failed to apologize but the other kids accepted him. He also informed me that he seen at the end of the game what Tony did to ensure David got his trophy and thought that was really special. He also said that he started reading my blog and he seen that David was allergic to milk and eggs (which surprised me how much he read because that is toward the beginning of the blog) and he told me that his son has the same allergies but that is a discussion for later.
Right now I would like to share a poem with everyone that I wrote on Sunday, it has no title as I am not good making up titles but if you think of a good one let me know:
I just wanted to be
A part of your team
So why did you have to
Treat me so mean?
I have been with you
All season long
Then get thrown away
When tournaments come along.
You may not think
That it's a big deal
But how do you think
That makes me feel?
What would you do
If this happened to you
You showed such little class
And acted like an ass.
So let me ask you this
If we traded places for a day
And you see what I go through
Would you feel that same way?
Jeremy David Gut
written 7-1-2012
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Update to the situation
I was still never informed of the game time and location as of this morning so I sent two more texts to the coach to find out what was going on. The first text was a re-text from last night.
Me (3:01 PM)- I take it since I was not given a time or day for the next game that he's still not invited? If that's the case please do me a favor and tell the parents the truth of why he's not there. I had 2 parents ask me why he wasn't at the last 2 games so I had to tell them that no one told us about them. If you could be truthful I would appreciate it. Thank you.
Me (3:55 PM)- When is the next game? David wants to go. He won't dress or play in it he just wants to go and watch.
I did not receive any reply to either of these texts. I then called the LAC president again, he seemed a little upset when I was talking to him about the situation. The president told me that he was under the impression that I knew about the game time because when the league president contacted him he told him that we would be there. The LAC president, George Kasach, said that he informed coach Shawn Phillips that the player would be there and Shawn said fine and that he would take care of it. Well that was totally not the case because we did not find out the time, date or location of the game until today when I contacted the president because the coach never told us. The coach, Shawn Phillips, then lied to the president that we were on vacation and that's why we weren't there. That is totally not the case and I don't know why Shawn would tell him that since I cleared up everything yesterday that we were never on vacation just intentionally left out. Needless to say that I was able to get the date and time (July 2, 2012 at 6 PM at Burbank Park in Warren, Ohio) so due to a friends suggestion we set up a protest and we will be there. David said that he wants to go but does not want to play because he doesn't want to be the reason if they lose. I contacted the league president to clear up that if it was okay if David goes that as long as he's not in uniform could he watch the game with no consequences to the team. He said that it is perfectly fine and that I need to do what I think is best as a parent. I think it's best to squash the small issues now before they turn into bigger issues later on in life and get everyone informed. The main goal, since this is a silent protest, is just to show our presence and raise autism awareness and get this fraud of a coach out of coaching little kids and teaching them bad morals, such as being okay to discriminate, and we do not want him to be able to coach again so he can't hurt anymore innocent children that just want to play the game and be a part of the team. This is a 9-10 yr. age group.
Me (3:01 PM)- I take it since I was not given a time or day for the next game that he's still not invited? If that's the case please do me a favor and tell the parents the truth of why he's not there. I had 2 parents ask me why he wasn't at the last 2 games so I had to tell them that no one told us about them. If you could be truthful I would appreciate it. Thank you.
Me (3:55 PM)- When is the next game? David wants to go. He won't dress or play in it he just wants to go and watch.
I did not receive any reply to either of these texts. I then called the LAC president again, he seemed a little upset when I was talking to him about the situation. The president told me that he was under the impression that I knew about the game time because when the league president contacted him he told him that we would be there. The LAC president, George Kasach, said that he informed coach Shawn Phillips that the player would be there and Shawn said fine and that he would take care of it. Well that was totally not the case because we did not find out the time, date or location of the game until today when I contacted the president because the coach never told us. The coach, Shawn Phillips, then lied to the president that we were on vacation and that's why we weren't there. That is totally not the case and I don't know why Shawn would tell him that since I cleared up everything yesterday that we were never on vacation just intentionally left out. Needless to say that I was able to get the date and time (July 2, 2012 at 6 PM at Burbank Park in Warren, Ohio) so due to a friends suggestion we set up a protest and we will be there. David said that he wants to go but does not want to play because he doesn't want to be the reason if they lose. I contacted the league president to clear up that if it was okay if David goes that as long as he's not in uniform could he watch the game with no consequences to the team. He said that it is perfectly fine and that I need to do what I think is best as a parent. I think it's best to squash the small issues now before they turn into bigger issues later on in life and get everyone informed. The main goal, since this is a silent protest, is just to show our presence and raise autism awareness and get this fraud of a coach out of coaching little kids and teaching them bad morals, such as being okay to discriminate, and we do not want him to be able to coach again so he can't hurt anymore innocent children that just want to play the game and be a part of the team. This is a 9-10 yr. age group.
Texts between me and the coward coach
Earlier I posted about the situation with my son which I copied from my wife's facebook status. After failed attempts of texting and calling the coach to find out about the tournament schedule I finally called the LAC (LaBrae Athletic Conference) and the WAC (Warren Athletic Conference) presidents and told them the story of what had happened and then finally after that the coach texted back. The League President of the WAC said there was nothing that he could do since the LAC only participates in the conference and the only thing that he could enforce was that all players that are present need to play but he can't do anything about the coward coach not calling us. The league president didn't say coward though, I just thought that I would add my feelings there. Anyhow here is how the texts went since Tuesday
Me (June 26)- Is there a tournament schedule yet?
The rest were from today, June 30, 2012 after a parent asked me today if David was going to be at the next game and they missed him for the last two games.
Me (11:20 AM)- When is the next game?
Me (1:22 PM)- When is the next game?
Me (2:59 PM)- ?
Me (4:28 PM)- When do tournaments start?
Well as you can see I went from 11:20 AM until 4:30 PM without a reply from the coach before I decided to contact the LAC and league presidents as recommended. I finally got ahold of the LAC president at 5:20 PM and he said he does not know what Shawn Phillips does with his team but he will call him and ask him and hopefully get a date and time for the next game. He must have called him because Shawn finally replied.
Shawn (5:41 PM)- What's your issue? Not all players have to go to tournament.
Me (5:44 PM)- You never said he couldn't go to tournaments. We were waiting thinking he was still part of the team. We expected he could finish the season. What's your issue.
Shawn (5:50 PM)- I have no issues with you or your son. I was trying to give the kids an even chance with the other teams.
Me (5:52 PM)- If not all kids have to be in tournaments why not tell us? Why ignore us? And why lie to the other coach about where we are?
Me (5:55 PM)- The kids and even chance? Or show them how to discriminate against the kid that isn't as good as the others? Our son happily sits on the bench and likes to be included. He did not cause you to lose any games. He was not a key player but he still brought in some runs. It meant something to him to be included.
Me (6:08 PM)- What do you want us to tell David when he asks about why he didn't get to go? How would you feel in our situation? We have never expected you to play him for a whole game and we made that clear.
Shawn (6:11 PM)- By rule, all players must bat and play 2 inning on defense.
Me (6:13 PM)- I know this. What about ignoring us not informing us and lying to the Southington coach
League president finally called me back around 7:30 PM while we were at the Scrappers game and I talked to him and told him the situation. He said that usually all coaches bring their whole team to all the tournaments and that if it was a coach in his league (WAC) that he would take disciplinary action on that coach but since we were in the LAC he couldn't but he was supposed to have a league president meeting and that the LAC president should be there and he would talk to him about it and hopefully have some answers. After hearing this I was a little more upset. Remember guys not only does David have aspergers but I do too and I get upset quite easily.
Me (8:33 PM)- Southington coach was mad. Not because you held david back but why you held him back and lied to them. Also george kasach and ted elder said it was a crock what you told us about not every kid has to be invited. Ted said he can't do anything but it's up to george. Oh, southington has an autistic chiild and a 6 year old in their line up and invited everyone. Now how about some answers please. I'm not trying to be mean just want answers for David.
Shawn (8:40 PM)- I'm sorry your upset. I was trying to do the best for the team without hurting anyone's felling.
Me (9:01 PM)- A heads up would have better than ignoring us. Also zip lube knows that we are not on vacation so you might want a new story.
Me (10:48)- I take it since I was not given a time or day for the next game that he's still not invited? If that's the case please do me a favor and tell the parents the truth of why he's not there. I had 2 parents from the team ask me why he wasn't at the last 2 games so I had to tell them that no one told us about them. If you could be truthful I would appreciate it. Thank you.
That was the extent so far but I don't think I am done. This man should not be coaching if that's how he want to play. As one of my friends said it is just as much cheating taking out a bad player as it is to stack a team with star players. I don't want to cause the team to have to forfeit or anything but I want everyone to know how displeased I am with the coach. It would not be fair to the other kids to have to give up the other games because of how cruel and unprofessional the coach is. It should not be tolerated. The age group for this team is 9-10 y.o. and we let the coach know at the beginning of the season of David's aspergers and even went out of our way to print information for him to understand it a little better. If you have any input please comment because people like this should not be allowed to show that kind of sportsmanship to kids of that age because the kids learn that it's okay to discriminate against someone that is different and that is totally not the case.
Me (June 26)- Is there a tournament schedule yet?
The rest were from today, June 30, 2012 after a parent asked me today if David was going to be at the next game and they missed him for the last two games.
Me (11:20 AM)- When is the next game?
Me (1:22 PM)- When is the next game?
Me (2:59 PM)- ?
Me (4:28 PM)- When do tournaments start?
Well as you can see I went from 11:20 AM until 4:30 PM without a reply from the coach before I decided to contact the LAC and league presidents as recommended. I finally got ahold of the LAC president at 5:20 PM and he said he does not know what Shawn Phillips does with his team but he will call him and ask him and hopefully get a date and time for the next game. He must have called him because Shawn finally replied.
Shawn (5:41 PM)- What's your issue? Not all players have to go to tournament.
Me (5:44 PM)- You never said he couldn't go to tournaments. We were waiting thinking he was still part of the team. We expected he could finish the season. What's your issue.
Shawn (5:50 PM)- I have no issues with you or your son. I was trying to give the kids an even chance with the other teams.
Me (5:52 PM)- If not all kids have to be in tournaments why not tell us? Why ignore us? And why lie to the other coach about where we are?
Me (5:55 PM)- The kids and even chance? Or show them how to discriminate against the kid that isn't as good as the others? Our son happily sits on the bench and likes to be included. He did not cause you to lose any games. He was not a key player but he still brought in some runs. It meant something to him to be included.
Me (6:08 PM)- What do you want us to tell David when he asks about why he didn't get to go? How would you feel in our situation? We have never expected you to play him for a whole game and we made that clear.
Shawn (6:11 PM)- By rule, all players must bat and play 2 inning on defense.
Me (6:13 PM)- I know this. What about ignoring us not informing us and lying to the Southington coach
League president finally called me back around 7:30 PM while we were at the Scrappers game and I talked to him and told him the situation. He said that usually all coaches bring their whole team to all the tournaments and that if it was a coach in his league (WAC) that he would take disciplinary action on that coach but since we were in the LAC he couldn't but he was supposed to have a league president meeting and that the LAC president should be there and he would talk to him about it and hopefully have some answers. After hearing this I was a little more upset. Remember guys not only does David have aspergers but I do too and I get upset quite easily.
Me (8:33 PM)- Southington coach was mad. Not because you held david back but why you held him back and lied to them. Also george kasach and ted elder said it was a crock what you told us about not every kid has to be invited. Ted said he can't do anything but it's up to george. Oh, southington has an autistic chiild and a 6 year old in their line up and invited everyone. Now how about some answers please. I'm not trying to be mean just want answers for David.
Shawn (8:40 PM)- I'm sorry your upset. I was trying to do the best for the team without hurting anyone's felling.
Me (9:01 PM)- A heads up would have better than ignoring us. Also zip lube knows that we are not on vacation so you might want a new story.
Me (10:48)- I take it since I was not given a time or day for the next game that he's still not invited? If that's the case please do me a favor and tell the parents the truth of why he's not there. I had 2 parents from the team ask me why he wasn't at the last 2 games so I had to tell them that no one told us about them. If you could be truthful I would appreciate it. Thank you.
That was the extent so far but I don't think I am done. This man should not be coaching if that's how he want to play. As one of my friends said it is just as much cheating taking out a bad player as it is to stack a team with star players. I don't want to cause the team to have to forfeit or anything but I want everyone to know how displeased I am with the coach. It would not be fair to the other kids to have to give up the other games because of how cruel and unprofessional the coach is. It should not be tolerated. The age group for this team is 9-10 y.o. and we let the coach know at the beginning of the season of David's aspergers and even went out of our way to print information for him to understand it a little better. If you have any input please comment because people like this should not be allowed to show that kind of sportsmanship to kids of that age because the kids learn that it's okay to discriminate against someone that is different and that is totally not the case.
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