Hello everyone, I know it's been a week since my last post however I got a bad review after my family read it and they were not happy and called and came over to show their disgust. I'm not sure what led to that, everything was truthful in it, I will blame their reading comprehension on that. Apparently they thought that I was calling my parents bad parents for not seeing things growing up and that is not the case, after reviewing my last post I do not recall ever coming across me stating bad parenting all I was stating is that I want them to accept my condition knowing the diagnosis now. I could go on and question their parenting but I won't do that, I just want some truthful answers of my childhood and the way that I acted as a kid to have closure on my diagnosis. My mother told me that once she sees a document stating the diagnosis then maybe she'll believe it so I contacted my counselor and she is going to get paperwork for me to give to them however I don't know if this will work or not. The intention of my blog is not to hurt anyone's feelings it is just a way of expressing my feelings in the best way that I know how, through writing. I do ask that if you have any snide remarks or comments though that you understand entirely what you are reading instead of reading a few lines in one post and basing an opinion. When my sister came over here and she asked "Why do you always have to badmouth them when they don't help you out?" Well if she would have seen the time stamp on the posts she would have realized that I wrote that post before I asked for any assistance, besides before I asked for the help I already knew the answer was going to be no and that's why I try not to ask them because I know that the answer is always going to be no but I figured it was worth a shot to ask. They did help me out one time before and nagged me every day until they were paid back. Mom likes to always tell me "It's not my fault that you can't keep a job." and the truth is that it isn't, nor is it mine but it is the fault that employers need to be educated of the social aspects and strengths that aspergers has in the workforce and until that day comes I will continue to struggle maintaining employment although counseling has helped greatly there are just some issues that can't be ironed out. Instead of throwing that in my face all the time though she could be a little more supportive and understanding of the situation even though they think I'm making up my diagnosis and the diagnosis of David which is not the case, doctors don't just throw a label on something unless they are certain. The other thing that they don't support or agree with is David's food allergies, trust me we would not be making that up if he were able to have milk and eggs because we would much rather him be able to have those items but he is allergic to them, they can kill him but my parents think we're over-exaggerating. They don't realize how hard it is to make sure David can have something at a restaurant and then we have to get the expensive (soy) cheese, milk and ice cream for him and make special cakes and other pastries for him. The fact that he has food allergies is a financial struggle to start with but throw on the fact of aspergers and that is makes the situation twice as hard, and then the fact that I have aspergers too and have a hard time sustaining income (other than unemployment) to combat these extra fees just makes it more of a struggle however my parents think that we are blowing this all out of proportion in order to gain sympathy, this is not the case for if we wanted sympathy there are a lot of cheaper ways to get it. The mere thing that I am asking for is acceptance and support from them for if I can get them to accept the conditions then the easier it is on us rather than them nitpicking and questioning our parenting skills and picking on our kids. The other thing that my sister brought up when she came over was "I don't know what you told aunt Gail because when she stopped over at mom's she seemed a little different, I mean I don't care what you said because I don't think she's the best judge of character so don't think that I care what she thinks. Did you tell them that mom and dad were bad parents, if that's the case I don't care, do you really think I care what she thinks?" Well to answer that I didn't really say much to aunt Gail other than catching up since what happened since February, which was the last time I seen her, and just getting together and letting two of her grand kids play with our boys while we were just talking about the past few months. I did ask her a few questions about my childhood in which she stated that she didn't see much that raised a red flag or had anybody asking 'what's wrong with that kid' and she told me a few things from my past and how sweet and caring I was. She told me that all the cousins had their uniqueness about them (I was ,and still am, the pyro) and she also told me of the time when I was four when I picked all of her neighbors flowers to give to my mom and although the gesture warm at heart she said her nerves were a mess because she knew eventually she would have to tell the neighbor what happened to all the tulips she waited for all winter. I may have stated how I felt when we visit my parents but what I told her was the truth of how they make us feel when we are there, other than that I didn't state any of their parenting skills growing up rather than I wanted to know how she saw me as a child as I did spend a lot of time with her in my younger years and my parents don't offer up that information to me when I ask them. So the answer to the question of "What did you tell aunt Gail?" is "Nothing" and the answer to "Do you think I care what aunt Gail thinks?" is "Well, yes, I actually do think you care of her opinion because if you didn't you would even bring that up." Needless to say I told them to understand better where my last post was coming from they needed to read the rest of my blog, my mom asked if there was more in there that would make her mad and I told her that there probably was but it is my feelings at the time of posting. Also when my sister was here she told me that mom was going to help me out until I wrote the post in which I responded "bullshit she had no intention of that, if so she would have said okay to begin with instead of 'I don't think so, you should see what other arrangements you can make,'" and then she asked if this was a jealousy issue because I brought up how mom and dad always help her out such as signing for a car, not co-signing but actually signing and taking out the loan in their name for her car, and also how they bought a swimming pool because she kept begging. She told me that mom and dad felt she was more responsible and that's why they signed for the care and as far as the pool goes that's for all the grand kids. Now I wouldn't go as far as saying the pool is for all of the grand kids as much as it is for my sister's kids, in who my parents always favored, mainly because of the fact that we are not invited over. My sister went on to tell me that I could just show up, I don't have to wait for an invitation in which then I retorted that I do have to have an invite to come over because without one I feel like a bigger inconvenience and more unwanted than they already make me feel. In closing I would like to state that I am not calling my parents bad parents as I will also not state that they are good parents I'm just stating that I want them to accept me for me and my kids for who they are and show a little support, if you treat me like crap while I'm there and act like you don't want my company then I am fine with that, I won't come over. Also when you talk about me please don't refer to me as your "mule" as so far this has been the most degrading comment that I have ever received from anyone as the negativity that I took away from that comment, whether intentional or not, that should not be the way you refer to you son or any of your children. I would also like to state that I am not upset with the sister that showed up to complain at me as right now I feel that she is the only chance that I have of my parents accepting David's and my conditions due to the fact that if she ever finally agrees and then educates my parents then they may actually listen and not make me feel so unwanted and maybe I won't have to worry about trying to please them to gain acceptance.
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