Aspergers is easier to cope with when everyone is on board

Aspergers is a lot easier to deal with when more people understand it, especially you're family.  I don't visit my family too often (mom, dad and sisters) because every time I do they say something completely out of line about David and my condition.  The worst is my older sister because her oldest daughter (14) thinks she knows what she's talking about because of what her mother says.  Instead of judging someone you should be able to learn about the condition and learn about it.  The reason I bring this up is because yesterday we went to my parents house for my dad's birthday to give him the gifts the boys got for him.  I told my dad about the interview that I had earlier in the day and the first thing he says is "Are you going to keep this one if you get it or are you going to do something stupid."  I informed him that I have not done anything stupid but the reason is because I don't get along well with others.  He then told me "Well you just need to not talk" in which I then informed him "That's my problem is that I don't socialize, but I'm working on it."  He then stated to me that I lived with him for 18 years and he didn't notice anything wrong in which sense I told him that if he were home more during those 18 years instead of soaking up all the overtime he could get that he may have noticed more.  I think I may have threw up a few red flags while I was growing up such as my speech problem, lack of friends and all the alone time that I spent either playing video games or writing poetry.  The other instance that happened yesterday was with my 14 year old niece after I told them about my interview she said "do you think you got the job or did you tell them that you're retarded?"  In which I stated that I'm not retarded, I have aspergers, and trust me I'm a hell of a lot smarter than you'll ever be.  It's complicated telling a 14 year old niece about aspergers especially if their mother fills their head with inaccurate information.  I believe if you don't know about a condition then you shouldn't try to explain it.  My niece said "Mom said you think you're protected because of being retarded but she doesn't think that should give you a right to call people names."  I then informed her that I'm not protected from that, I'm protected because of a disability that affects everyday life which is my socializing.  I don't call people names but I disagree a lot with people because they don't understand where I'm coming from and that's where I'm protected.  She then said "That is so retarded."  Needless to say we had a little debate and I asked her not to say the word retarded unless she learns what it means "retarded-slightly delayed" and that it could be hurtful, then I brought up her grades in school an A a B 3 Cs and a D and told her I was strictly an A-B student taking advanced classes (Algebra, Trig, Calculus, Biology, Physics, Chemistry) so who is the stupid one now.  I also told her of David's grades (A-B) although he is only in 3rd grade, which is the same grade as my nieces sister who is getting Cs and Ds and the teacher has problems with her that I must be doing a better job parenting my child (because I understand the condition) than her mother is.  She asked if you guys got such good grades and so advanced then how are you retarded, yes she used the word again.  I then had to explain that Aspergers isn't retarded, it's a high functioning autism, we are extremely smart because of how we see things in our head and how literal we take things and how focused we are on one thing.  Needless to say that's why I don't like to visit my family too often, however I do like to visit my dad's sister (aunt gail) because she spent a lot more time with me as a child and after I told her my diagnosis she was more understanding of it and explained better how I acted then and now.  Too bad that she lives further away than my immediate family but I wish that my family would be able to see things the same way she does.  If my family knew a little more about aspergers and autism then it might not make family functions as hard as it does when David and I are around them because they make us feel like such outcasts.  In other words it makes it a lot easier to cope with when all of your friends and family are on board and educated about the the condition however they may not ever fully agree with you and it will be extremely hard to get them to understand if they don't want to take the time to learn about it.  My wife's aunt Marcia is probably the best one to be around because she understands the conditions because she took the time to learn about it, she also takes special time to make sure that if we come over that she makes things that are "David friendly" which are milk and egg free which is another thing that my family doesn't understand about.