How to love with Aspergers

People may think that people with Aspergers or Autism don't know how to love and that is not true by any means.  We know how to love and be loved but have a hard time expressing it verbally or emotionally.  I tell my wife that I love her but I have a hard time showing that I love her.  When I was in high school there were girls that I liked and talked to sometimes but I could never tell them and couldn't muster the courage to ask anyone out, my first date was about two months before I turned 18 right before graduating high school and I am not the one that asked, but my best friend told this girl that she should give me a chance.  As far as talking to her it was hard because I did not know how to express myself, instead I showed that I loved her in my writings.  I wrote notes and drew little cartoons and added some jokes to make her laugh and then I wrote a bunch of poetry to express my love.  That method seemed to work because she agreed to date me and later on down the road agreed to marry me and so far it's lasted eight and a half years (December 21, 2003).  While I was in the Navy (July 2002-July 2005) our main source of communication was through writing letters and sending e-mail and she seemed to miss me a lot and I believe our love grew during that time, and it was still strong for a little while after I was released from the military but a lot of my time then became consumed with the workforce and playing in the garden and I never really found time to write and after a while she started to feel that the love was gone.  She would ask me all the time if I still love her and I told her "of course I do" then she would ask "why don't you ever tell me that you love me unless it's in a text or right before bed."  This was before I was diagnosed with Aspergers, or knew what it was so a lot of nights she would just keep talking and crying while I was just listening because I didn't know how to respond so she felt like I was ignoring her.  I have written a couple of letters on our anniversaries and a couple other times throughout the years to tell her how much I still love her and how she is a great wife and mother to our children and she really loved to read that but I know that she would like to try to hear it more.  I try to tell her more often how I feel but in my mind I think that she should already know how much I love her.  Our marriage was a little rocky for a couple years and then she gave me an ultimatum to seek counseling or she will leave.  I ignored her threats for a while because I thought they were empty threats because I know she still loves me and she knows that I still love her, I eventually started seeking counseling and was diagnosed with Aspergers when I started running into social problems at work (4 jobs in 5 years due to misunderstanding by co workers), and since the diagnosis she has been more understanding (because of David's diagnosis she knows all about Aspergers) and accepting of how hard it is to express feelings.  The counselor keeps telling me that I should give her at least two compliments per week to make her feel loved and I am lucky to come up with one a month.  I am putting this blog out to inform anyone with Aspergers that have relationship problems because they don't know how to express their love that maybe they need to find another source that makes it easier to express rather than orally or physically.  My source of showing love is in my writings, others may be able to draw or just do little things such as housekeeping or helping out to show appreciation of the things she does for you.  Just because you have Aspergers doesn't mean it's impossible to love, it just means it's harder to show love so don't give up on it.  It is also a two way street, if your wife or girlfriend is aware of your disorder they should also be willing to accommodate  and understand your situation and give you support and encouragement.  Don't get me wrong, me and my wife still fight, she still cries and gets overwhelmed at times because she feels that I am not helping out but I believe since we both found out that I have Aspergers it made it easier to accept my distancing at times and she is so supportive which makes me feel stronger and it makes our love and marriage stronger.