Understanding and helping your child with life skills

Aspergers does not mean incompetent.  Adults and children with Aspergers are very capable, and at times more capable than most of doing many tasks and achieving high test results.  I am writing this because after about a year since my diagnosis I was finally comfortable enough to tell my family (mom, dad and sisters) that I have this condition.  My mother and father disagreed and said "I think that's bullshit, who told you that, if you have aspergers how did you do so well in school and you played sports and was in the navy and went through a few jobs."  I had to explain to them that just because I have aspergers doesn't mean that I am stupid or unable to do tasks, as a matter of fact most people with this condition achieve very high results and are usually the best workers because they are more job oriented and ready to finish a task rather than to socialize, which unfortunately is also a big downfall is not wanting to socialize.  I've never had a complaint about my work ethic or attendance, all my tasks were completed on time with precision and never missed a scheduled day of work.  I love to work because it stimulates me, I am put to a challenge and strive to complete that challenge and the only complaints that I ever receive is my inability to communicate and socialize with others.  When I told them about David's diagnosis a couple of years earlier they also thought that nothing was wrong with him and we were making this up.  I realize now that what I needed growing up was more support from my parents and I could have probably gotten even better grades and achieved more now and that is why I am pushing David and giving him much more encouragement and support and we are doing everything that we can to get him the best help that we can with school and sports and socializing with his peers.  David is a very smart kid but like myself he gets distracted quite easily and it is a struggle to get him to do home work and the teachers often say that he is one of the smartest kids in the class and a lot more advanced but they have a hard time getting him to take tests and pay attention in class.  It may seem that he doesn't pay attention but he follows along with what is going on, the teacher told us of an incident that she was reading to class and kept telling the kids to pay attention and be quiet while she was reading so they can follow it and one of his classmates said "Well what about David he's not paying attention"  and at that point David stood up and recited back everything that was read.  The biggest struggle is getting words from his brain to his paper and he usually does not finish his papers in school and ends up with a lot of homework which we make sure that he finishes because we know that he knows the answers we are just trying to get him comfortable with putting that on paper.  It took us a while to schedule an IEP with the school but after months of pushing the school agreed to the testing and an IEP is in place, however it is up to a supportive parent to push the issue or the school will not do that for you.  I know that because I probably could have had one in place when I was in school but my parents didn't see the red flags that we seen with David.  He also does Occupational Therapy which helps with coordination body stimulation which should eventually make him a better baseball player and whatever other sports he will get involved in when he gets older.  I did play baseball for a season in fourth grade and was not that great, I had trouble tracking the ball and eventually gave up on it because I was discouraged because I was so far behind the rest of the team, David is currently in his fifth year of baseball, he didn't want to play the past two years but we don't want him to give up so easily like my parents did with me, instead we want him to improve and get up to speed with his peers.   I decided to play football from fifth grade until I graduated high school.  I was a defensive lineman which required quickness more than speed and coordination and I like the full body impact that my body was receiving and I don't think my parents realized that.  I may have been able to achieve more as a football player had I gone through Occupational Therapy and learned other techniques to stimulate my body.  The other thing that we arranged for David was Behavioral Modification Therapy to help him learn how to socialize with his classmates and learn how to get along better with his cousin (who is Autistic) and how to deal with his little brother better.  Unfortunately his counselor left the area and he hasn't seen him for almost a year, we thought that David was dealing with things okay and he did for a while since not going but we feel that the one-on-one sessions that he had with the counselor did help a lot and we would like to get him back into it.  The first time I received any counseling was when I was 26 years old (about a month before my 27th birthday) and have been receiving it twice a month for a little over a year now and I am learning a lot of new things that could be really helpful.  I mean I am always going to have aspergers and be socially awkward and say the wrong things at times but she has given me ways to think before I speak and is showing me how to win friends with my personality, adapt to be just like the person you are with and they will like you better and you can go farther.  I wish I would have had that kind of intervention when I was younger and I would be a much different person.  It is a lot harder to adapt when you are older and that is why it is important to intervene with your autistic child at a young age and it will give them an edge when they become adults.  If you are negative your child will reflect that, but if you are positive and willing to take all the necessary actions for you child to get the most out of life while they are younger they will strive to not let you down.  In other words praise everything that your child does no matter how bad, ridiculous or embarrassing it may be and they will go far.